Bruised And Battered
by Smickan
Summary: Set just after Diane's death, Chrissie tries to focus and pull herself together to survive a day in Holby.


**Bruised And Battered.**

'_They always go away.'_

Chrissie looked thoughtful, her brow furrowing a little as she stared aimlessly across the foyer, her interest piquing as the lift doors opened. She noticed a familiar figure step out of them and watched as ten seconds later a rather ruffled looking female followed him out, the two giggling like schoolchildren as they attempted to straighten their clothing.

'_Sam & Faye._' Chrissie bit the straw of her drink and tutted quietly, shaking her head. 'For two people trying to keep their relationship quiet, Chrissie thought, '_They're making a big show of their relationship._'

She watched quietly as the two came to a stop near the double doors, having to move closer to each other to let other people pass, '_Like that isn't the oldest trick in the book!'_ She watched the giggles and hair flicks and grimaced a little, praying that she wasn't that bad. Still, she'd had no complaints… Maybe she should have tried that one out on-

"Earth to Chrissie…?" A familiar voice cut through her thoughts and brought her crashing back to reality, a quick shake of the head enough to dispel the thoughts for now. "Are you okay, love?"

"Dad!" Chrissie's expression softened to a smile and she nodded. "Away with the fairies."

"Is ever-"

"Everything's fine." She cut him off and nodded, suppressing a sigh. "Just a long day."

"You haven't even started yet!" Mark chuckled and took her arm, helping her stand. "Come on, if you're still standing I'll buy you a coffee at break. We can go together this afternoon…"

Chrissie allowed herself a soft chuckle and gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, dad."

_One by one… they slowly ebb away. People. You can't trust them._

"Matron?"

Chrissie was disturbed from her thoughts once again, raising her head to see Dan peering over the top of the computer monitor at her. "Not disturbing you am I?" he continued, his tone dry. "I'd hate to think that Mrs Paisley's ingrowing toenails weren't as thrilling as the latest gossip."

"Mr Clifford." Chrissie acknowledged, only just stopped her lip curling as she glared in response to his smirk. "I was-"

"Next time we're chronically understaffed, please do take time to have your private daydreams, I'm sure the patients won't mind waiting!"

Chrissie's jaw dropped and she stared after him as he stalked away, taking a couple of seconds to catch herself staring. '_Who the hell does he think he is?'_ She twitched. '_Does he not know what day it is?"_

"Cheer up." Dan's tone dropped to arctic temperatures. "It's not as though you were close."

"The thing that gets me, yeah?" Donna's voice drifted across much to Maddy's discreet attempts to shut her up or at least lower her voice. "What's she doing parking on the tracks anyway?"

"Donna…" Maddy cringed, dropping her gaze as she noticed several people looking in their direction.

"What?" Donna rolled her eyes. "It's not like they're not thinking it either!"

"It's her funeral this afte-"

"You worry too much." Donna interrupted Maddy and sighed, "Still, poor cow. S'gotta be better than being here!"

"She's dead, Donna!" Maddy stared open mouthed at her, wondering just how she'd got to that conclusion.

"I know!" Donna said, as though speaking to a rather slow and stupid child. "But if Ric wasn't yelling at her, Clifford'd be playing her off against someone else, or Jac Naylor would be-." She trailed off as Connie came into sight, puckering her lips thoughtfully. "You reckon she still wants to shag Sam Strachan?" she asked, going off on a completely different tangent.

Chrissie had watched Donna's summary, grateful for Maddy's attempts to shut her up. She knew Maddy was another of Sam's conquests, but she had the grace to keep it quiet, something that Donna could never do. There was something about Maddy that interested Chrissie. She was unflappable, personable and always seemed to be able to sum up just who you were and what you were really like. Chrissie longed for that skill; she would have loved to be able to take a back seat and just observe like Maddy rather than be constantly in the middle of things, following her heart over her head, rushing into things… making a fool of herself with the most unsuitable people.

Still, now she was left alone completely, no one to share her bed, no one to bitch at until they finally got out of bed and closed the curtains for her. Now she was well and truly on her own. Of course there was her dad, but… he wasn't _really_ her father, was he? Not in the true sense of the word. She wished she'd taken the opportunity to ask more about who her father really was, rather than push her mother away. That was her biggest regret and something she was going to have to live with.

Tricia. Her family had slowly started to unite, and five minutes later she was at her mother's bedside, debating whether or not to turn her life support off! It was no age to die; what right did anyone have to take her away? The cancer was bad enough but an accident?

The most important people in Chrissie's life had all left her. Ed, Owen, Tricia, Amanda… Maybe if Amanda had survived, she would never have lost Owen. Maybe if Amanda was still where she should be, with her parents, he would have stayed with her and not gone off with Diane _Bloody_ Lloyd. The same Diane who was unaware on her wedding day that her groom had spent the night before with his ex wife. The same bloody Diane who had taken the easy way out! The very same Diane that Chrissie had rebuffed and told not to '_be so bloody stupid!_' when she'd told her that she was falling for her. The Diane who was so weak that she couldn't stay with Chrissie and had run out of her bed to attempt to get back into Ric's!

It was too late now. She couldn't save Diane, she couldn't even say goodbye. She knew Ric spent a lot of time down there and she even knew Dan had crept down once or twice when things were quiet. There was no way that they'd believe Chrissie wanted to see her, they'd think she was there just to make sure that she was really gone. At least she had the memories, and just like those of Amanda, Tricia and Owen… they were all that was holding her together.


End file.
